• How to Better Overstand\Comprehend Yourself, and Others.

    THE BIRTH ORDER EFFECT

  • THE FIVE PERSONALITIES

    *We're on a mission for people to live more meaningful lives by the means of better understanding themselves, and others, recreating a much richer life experience through the individual, families, corporations, educational institutions, as well as individual societies.*
     
     
    *Forget the old concepts of birth order you may be familiar with, and may have thought you once knew. The new Birth Order, discovered by Clifford Isaacson, is a more accurate description beyond the broad descriptions of a supposed universal first born, middle Child, youngest child, and only child. In reality, these descriptions can never absolutely, and accurately describe each, and every person's situation, because there are many exceptions to the numbers. For example, many first born children are psychologically Onlies (only children), and a middle child can be any of the five personalities because of individual family dynamics.*

    *For understanding, and accuracy purposes to avoid confusion, lowercase will denote the position (first born, second born, third, etc.), while uppercase will denote the personality (First Born, Only Child, Second Born, Third Born, Fourth Born, etc.)
     

    Only Child
    -Is very organized.
    -Wakes with a schedule of the day in mind.
    -Dislikes intrusion.
    -Interrupts others.
    -Talks time (it's time to, what time will you, specific times, etc.)
    -You spend a lot of time alone. You need it, you crave it.
    -Develops imaginary friends, playmates.
    -You make to-do-lists, and scratch things off rather than check them, because if gives you a feeling of relief.
    -Feels pressure.
    -Has a sarcastic sense of humor.
    -You think with your feelings.
    -You get frustrated when things go bad, off schedule, or unplanned. 
    -You tend to feel what others feel.
    -You throw tantrums as emotional defense.
    -You stay up late, and get up early when nobody else is around, in order to be alone.
    -Likes to tell stories.
    -Procrastinates by doing smaller tasks first.
    -Treats others equally.
    -Experiences two speeds; fast for avoiding interruption, and slow for inviting assistance. 
     
    First Born
    -Often experiences guilt.
    -Feels as if no one will ever love him, or her.
    -Craves admiration, approval, and respect from others as forms of conditional , temporary love.
    -Wants to appear humble.
    -Likes to impress others.
    -You are unaware of what others think, and you know it.
    -Wants to know what others think, making him, or her into a research thinker.
    -Often says, "I don't know," even when he, or she sometimes does.
    -Is a good leader, rather than a manager, of others.
    -Is a placater.
    -Is goal oriented.
    -Procrastinates by daydreaming of the future.
    -Tends to agree, rather than disagree with others.
    -Provides explanations.
    -Strives to know it all.
    -Is usually chronologically first, fifth, or ninth among siblings in large families.
     
    Second Born
    -Is a perfectionist only in certain areas of life.
    -Pays attention to details.
    -Notices flaws.
    -You feel as if others can do things better than you can; feels inadequate.
    -Suppresses his, or her emotions, making him, or her into a logical thinker.
    -Is artistic. 
    -Follows rules (makes rules for him, or herself).
    -Evaluates.
    -Often says, "You need to.." , thinks in terms of necessity. 
    -Likes accounting, but not math.
    -You feel as if no one cares about how you feel.
    -You like to receive, and give constructive criticism.
    -Often corrects others.
    -You feel as if nothing is ever good enough, so you find ways to always improve.
    -Acts as a peacemaker.
    -Procrastinates by doing things either early, or at the last minute (dislikes deadlines.) Can also put off tasks until they can be done perfectly.
    -Is usually chronologically second, sixth, tenth, and fourteenth in larger families.
     
    Third Born
    -Behaves as if nothing bothers him, or her.
    -Feels vulnerable.
    -Hates boredom.
    -Resists being told what to do; dislikes rules.
    -Is a bottom line thinker; dislikes details.
    -Has to stay busy to avoid becoming bored.
    -Feels for the underdog.
    -May relate well to children.
    -Likes to please others.
    -Often says, "No problem."
    -Finds it difficult to say No.
    -Behaves either fearlessly, or fearfully.
    -May experience anxiety, or panic.
    -Tends to be pushy.
    -Is persuasive.
    -May find strength in spirituality.
    -Uses humor as emotional defense.
    -Can change direction at a moment's notice.
    -Has many acquaintances, but only one, or two close friends.
    -You can only stand up for yourself when angry.
    -Can oftentimes go on attack.
    -Thinks by comparison.
    -Compares things in his, or her mind to generate ideas.
    -Gets lots of ideas.
    -Is creative.
    -Tends to think outside of the box.
    -Is usually chronologically third, seventh, and eleventh in large families.
     
    Fourth Born
    -Feels immature.
    -Feels unwanted, excluded, or left out.
    -Feels misunderstood (and is often true.)
    -Equates hard work with maturity.
    -Hates laziness.
    -Thinks that life has to be hard, so he, or she has to try hard.
    -Often says, "Life is hard."
    -May often complain about things to appear mature.
    -Berates others for being stupid.
    -Analyzes things from every angle.
    -Has a hard time trusting others.
    -Can be manipulative; presents self as a victim in order to manipulate.
    -Uses retaliatory justice; gets even.
    -May find it hard to think in difficult situations.
    -May become a good actor, in many cases, a superb actor.
    -Likes to make things easy for others.
    -Is always getting left out.
    -You feel as is nobody understands you, so you just clam up.
    -Avoids being trapped (used).
    -Is empathetic.
    -Understands others.
    -Makes the best manager of others.
    -May use anger as a form of control.
    -You can let your anger get the best of you.
    -Likes to entertain others with their wit.
    -Is usually chronologically fourth, eighth, twelfth, and sixteenth in larger families.
     
    EXCEPTIONS
     
    **  A first born will retain his, or her Only Child personality if there is at least five years, or more between  the first, and second child, causing the second child to also developing an Only Child personality. This seems to be because the first child is old enough to understand that the new baby needs attention, instead of concluding that his mother no longer loves him, or her.
    **  A first born can also retain his, or her Only Child personality if there is help in the house by a nanny, grandmother, aunt, or other family member(s) when the new baby arrives. This way, the first born feels loved, and fails to see the new baby as a threat.
    **  Twins, triplets, and multiple births organize themselves into consecutive birth orders. (First Born-Second Born, Second Born-Third Born, Third Born-Fourth Born, First Born-Second Born-Third Born, etc.)
    **  A death in the family may, or may not count in the children's birth order sequencing. (oftentimes does)
     **  Birth Order repeats in large families after the Fourth Born personality, because the Fourth Born tries to pass the feeling of being unwanted to the next child, causing him, or her to develop into an Only Child psychologically. If there is a sixth child, the fifth child will develop into a First Born, and the sixth, and Second Born. (The fifth child often feels the loss of love, and loss of attention even greater than the original First Born because the older children join in on the gleaming of the new baby.)
     **  A person can have up to two secondary personalities (some people have none) from their parents. They never blend with the primary personality, yet they are displayed when away from home, and at ease.The primary personality takes over in times of stress.
         You take the same personality as your opposite sex parent (A Second Born male with a Third Born mother will take on her Third Born traits), while you develop the next personality in line from your same sex parent (A Second Born male with a Second Born father will develop a Third Born secondary personality.)
     
     

    Birth Order Counseling/Consultation 

    Mission: To better understand yourself, and others using dynamic, even straightforward therapies pertaining to your specific situations in life, enabling you to cope better, understand things better, and think better in life situations using reframed lenses. 
    Algona, Iowa
    Houma, Louisiana

    "People complain that no one understands them without realizing they do not understand themselves. Failing to understand themselves they fight with others, mess up their lives and live in a fog. A little understanding can go a long way and a lot of understanding can transform your life.We are dedicated to bringing understanding through Birth Order to illuminate your world, connect you with people and to help you succeed."- Cliff Isaacson, Upper Des Moines Counseling Center in Algona, Iowa.
  • WHO WE ARE

    Alex Whitley

    Birth Order Counselor,
    Birth Order Consultant,
    Mentor.

    Clifford Isaacson



    Pastoral Counselor. Founder of the Upper Des Moines Counseling Center in Algona, IA.  (Psychotherapy, also by means of Birth Order Personality)
  • CONNECT/CONSULTATION

    The benefits of over the phone counseling can be advantageous because of the reasons of privacy in your own home, your anonymity is protected, and because of possible distractions in the office. 
    Flexibility with counseling may include chats such as Skype, In Person, and/or over the telephone.
     
     
      Alex Whitley include (students, special situations, international, and children ages 5-12, 12-16, and 16-21.)
     Birth Order knowledge, and counseling can usually get done in 30 minutes of session of what can usually take five to six, or more sessions in a conventional counseling setting.
     
     

    Twitter

    Cliff Twitter 
    Alex Twitter
    Call

    Cliff 1-515-295-3900
    Alex 504-810-4908
  • Birth Order Personality Dolls- set (coming soon)..
  • PUBLISHED WORKS / FURTHER READING 

    Alex Whitley
    (Coming soon)
     
    Clifford Isaacson
    Understanding Yourself Through Birth Order (1988), The Birth Order Challenge: Expanding Your Horizons (1991), How to Love Your Children: Birth Order for Parents (1992), Look at It This Way: Reframing Life's Experiences (1996), The Birth Order Effect: How to Better Understand Yourself and Others (2002), The Birth Order Effect for Couples (2004), The Good-for-You Marriage (2008)
     
    *The Definitive Book of Body Language by Barbara and Allan Pease